3 Psychological Techniques To Calm Nervous Children

3 psychological techniques to calm nervous children

Dealing with our children can sometimes be difficult, especially when their emotions are soaring and we cannot control them. When our children are nervous, we see them in pain and we want to do everything to have their negative feelings calm as quickly as possible.

However, sometimes we need outside help to calm our children. Therefore,  in this article you will find 3 effective psychological techniques to calm nervous children.

The best psychological techniques for calming nervous children: preliminary considerations

We are going to list some preliminary considerations so that you can choose the ones that can help you the most:

  • Depending on your own personality, the relationship you have with your children and their way of being, it will be more useful to use certain techniques than others. It  is therefore important to try several of them  until you find the one that works best for your particular situation.
  • It is essential that you  remain calm throughout the process. When your child is nervous or anxious, needs you, you are his reference figure, you reassure him that everything will be fine. Therefore, you may find it helpful to use techniques such as deep breathing or meditation before trying to calm your uncontrolled emotions.
  • Remember that no matter how good a technique is, you will  need a little patience for it to work properly. Techniques to reduce your children’s anxiety or nervousness won’t work by magic; sometimes their emotions will just be too intense. In such cases, your job will be to wait for the storm to pass and accompany it through this process.
crying child

Technique 1: put a name on what worries them

One of the most common issues that nervous children suffer from with their out of control emotions is that they see them as something very powerful and terrifying. Therefore,  the first of our psychological techniques for calming nervous children is to help them minimize their anxiety.

How the technique works is very simple – just  ask your child to come up with a funny name for the unpleasant emotions they are feeling. It is important that the name is as threatening as possible.

Once they find a name that you think is right,  all your child has to do is order their emotions to go away. For example, if he has decided that his emotions are going to be called “Pepe”, he might say something to them like:

  • “Leave me in peace, Pepe!”
  • “Pepe, stop making me feel this way!”

By putting a ridiculous name on their feelings and speaking to them out loud,  your child will be able to minimize their feelings  and calm down much faster.

Technique 2: listen to your child

When someone talks to us about their problems, one of our first impulses is usually to help them with anything that is worrying them. But with our children, to the extent that they act less rationally than adults,  applying the logic of explaining that everything will be fine doesn’t always work as well as it should.

This is the reason why trying to show our children that nothing bad will actually happen can even increase the anxiety they feel. Instead,  try to actively listen to them and show them your affection. For example, through physical contact, with kisses and hugs. In general, if your child feels listened to and protected, their nerves will weaken almost immediately.

father and with his son

Technique 3: give your child something to calm them down

Several studies show that it  is possible to associate an object with a given emotion. For example, if your child has a special stuffed animal, or an accessory that gives them security (like a handkerchief or bracelet, for example), take advantage of it!

For example, the latest research indicates that  sleeping with a stuffed animal helps children overcome night terrors. This same principle can be applied to many other situations: if your child is scared on their first day of school, why not have them bring something that puts them in a good mood? If it’s something small enough, other kids won’t even notice.

This technique will be all the more effective if you explain to your child that it is your intention, and that you ask him to choose an object to accompany him in his bad times. The child will then be more involved in the process, and the positive feelings will be more intense.


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