Personal Responsibility: The Stone In The Shoe
Without personal responsibility, there is no progress, no achievement, no conquest. This psychological dimension in turn has a great impact on the social field.
If we all took a little more responsibility for our actions and behaviors, maybe we would shape a different kind of reality. A more advanced type, more respectful and, above all, more human.
In one of his lectures, Viktor Frankl explained that the iconic Statue of Liberty should have been given another name. According to the famous psychiatrist, she should be called the “Statue of Responsibility”.
This suggestion was based on an idea that can be applied to all circumstances. Freedom is a faculty inherent in human beings, but it can only be exercised through responsibility. Being responsible means, after all, taking care of yourself, understanding that every act has consequences.
Likewise, as psychotherapist Albert Ellis pointed out, for many it is easier to avoid certain responsibilities than to face their active role in the face of difficulties. It is a fact easy to observe in everyday life.
For example, it is common to see in psychological therapy the inability of many people to take full responsibility for what is happening to them. It is a defense mechanism: it is easier to blame your partner, your family, your colleagues than yourself to explain your unhappiness.
We project the source of our discomfort onto others without realizing that many times the key to change is within us. Let’s take a more in-depth look at this topic.
Personal responsibility: the stone you must remove from your shoe
Sometimes we hobble around the world. Our feet hurt us. Our shoes bothers us: something in the sole hurts us every time we take a step. However, we don’t stop to find out what’s going on. Instead of sitting down and pulling out that annoying encrusted pebble, we blame it on this steep path.
We are angry with the mayor for not paving this neglected area where we are forced to pass every day. We are projecting our anger even on the maker of this uncomfortable shoe. We may even project it onto our acquaintances, our relatives, our friends … And the pebble is always in our sole.
Sometimes life is unfair. It is especially important for those who do not take charge of their own existence to solve their own problems.
You alone are responsible for your well-being
Confucius said that the one who attacks what is inside us the most is the one who has the most strength. In other words, it is true that what surrounds us determines our chance to be happy.
It is true that social, economic factors or having had a traumatic childhood condition us. However, we are the main enemy of our well-being, not the context or the past itself.
Personal responsibility therefore means knowing how to commit to creating beneficial changes. In what way? Make courageous decisions, take action. Knowing what we need and working for it. Above all, stop blaming others and take the role in the reality we want to create.
It is also important to remember a detail. No one comes into the world with perfect sanity and an innate ability to face adversity. We learn to be happy. It is also the objective of psychological therapy, namely to propose strategies to generate changes that bring us closer to balance and well-being.
You decide how you feel
Our pebble can take many forms. Sometimes we drag the pain of that emotional breakdown or disappointment caused by a friendship. This situation is familiar to all of us. In these cases, personal responsibility also comes through controlling one’s emotions.
We cannot drag this suffering onto the sole of the shoe. We have to remove the stone, and that involves accepting and understanding this emotional impact. Then we have to regulate it, act and make new decisions.
As explained in a study from the Institute of Cognitive Neuroscience, University College London (UCL), the formation of our emotional responsibility will bring us closer to happiness.
Personal responsibility: accept setbacks and move forward
In our progress throughout our life cycle, we won’t just find pebbles along the way. We will also see cut roads and precipices. It is true that no one has prepared us for these unexpected situations.
When this happens, we have two options. The first and easiest is to go back. This is not appropriate, because personal responsibility is also to understand that sometimes there are unforeseen events.
People fail, we are wrong, and adversity can even arise in any form. In these situations, we must be responsible, courageous and committed. We will take a step back, yes, but to gain ground.
In conclusion, let’s be clear, we should not blame others for our discomfort. We can and deserve to be happy again, but it requires making decisions and, above all, taking responsibility.
Our thoughts In your mind and heart, there must always be a purpose for moving forward. This is what gives us a reason to get out of bed.
