To Feed Resentment Is To Die Little By Little

– Of course yes my sweetheart, but on one condition … You will first have to make peace with her, so that no one suspects you when she is dead. You will have to behave well, be kind, grateful, patient, affectionate, less selfish, attentive… Do you see this little dust? You will put a little of it on her plate every day and it will end up killing her.

30 days passed and the girl came back to her father:
– I don’t want her to die anymore! I love it. And now ? How to cancel the effect of the venom? The father then replied:
– Do not worry! I only gave you small grains of rice.
She couldn’t have died, the venom was in you.

When we feed grudges, we die little by little.  Let’s learn to make peace with those who hurt and hurt us.

Let’s learn to treat others as we would like to be treated. Let’s learn to take the initiative to love, to give, to give, to serve, and not just to want to win and to be served.

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When someone hurts you, it’s like you’ve been bitten by a snake. The wound can be smaller or smaller, but you can always close it and heal it.

The problem arises when the bite is poisonous. As the therapist José Antonio García notes, the most common venoms are revenge and the quest for justice at all costs ( eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth ).

Holding a grudge is very human,  but so is forgiving. They say that whoever does not love does not forgive. Thus, it is precisely love that is the culprit of forgiveness.

In other words, true forgiveness does not exist if there is nothing that can really justify it. It can be friendliness, responsibility or indifference, but the only way to reach it is through love.

Also, tell yourself that, in a way, forgiveness is synonymous with freedom. No matter what grudges, fears, and hatred you feel towards each other, there is no reason to live locked in the prison of resentment.

In any case, forgiving does not mean erasing the past or forgetting the pain, but creating a new vision of the past and looking to the present moment and the future.

Forgiveness is essential for emotional freedom

Forgiveness is essential for achieving emotional freedom, and mental well-being. It can be very difficult, but it is the only way to heal. Let’s see how to do it:

1. Acknowledge your suffering and pain. This is the only way to emotionally distance yourself and rebuild empathy for the person who hurt you.

This will allow you to analyze the reasons that might have prompted her to do so, which will reduce your need to blame the other person and ascribe to them a specific intentionality.

2. Choose forgiveness. For that, let’s use the metaphor of the hook.

The one who hurt you hung you on a hook that goes through your guts and causes you great pain. You then want to give him back what he deserves, to make him feel the same way and also to catch him with a hook.

An act of justice, which everyone has already felt. If you focus on the urge to make him suffer in turn, you make the pain he has caused you even more present.

Whether you manage to catch it with that hook or just try it, you will always be in that same hook, with it. If you can catch it, then it will be with you. If you want to get out of it, you’ll have to help her first.

If we move away from this metaphor: you must therefore be careful not to be too close to this person, because they could pierce you again.

And if you both end up on the same hook all over again, it’s confidence that will keep you going – in other words, believing that this person won’t do it again.

However, it is not the option of not to suffer that justifies a choice, but an option based on what one wishes in the long term.

3. Accept pain and anger. It’s natural to feel angry and hurt sometimes, but the only way to stop suffering is to let go of this constant confrontation with your emotions, feelings and thoughts.

4. Self-protection. When you analyze what happened and try to forgive, you can’t forget the signals that point you to danger. To do this, you will need to keep them in mind to protect yourself from future threats and injuries.

5. Don’t settle for a simple “I forgive you”. Any of your expressions can actually turn out to be totally meaningless. This is what usually happens when we think we have been successful in forgiving as resentment continues to grow within us.

Forgiveness is something you feel. For that, if certain thoughts, emotions or feelings reappear, it will be necessary to start again the whole process from the beginning, until completely eliminating the pain which is undermining you.