Gaslighting, The Most Subtle And Corrosive Form Of Abuse

Have you ever been made to believe that you are crazy? That what you claim never happened? When you are made to doubt your point of view, what happened, you may feel confused and even fall into a depression. It is a very effective strategy of manipulation that many people use to hurt and take advantage of others. Here we are talking about Gaslighting, the most subtle and corrosive form of abuse.

The term “Gaslighting” is not chosen at random, but was taken from a movie known as Gaslight in which the main character makes his wife believe that she is delusional and that she should consult a. psychologist. All this for a specific end: to steal his fortune. A real torture for anyone who turns into a victim of this brutal betrayal.

Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse.

Gaslighting, the weapon of the manipulators

Even if you are not directly related to this term, you should know that Gaslighting is used a lot more times than we think. It is one of the weapons of the manipulators, the one that allows them to make the victim crazy and submissive, who ends up achieving whatever they want. Do you need examples? Maybe they will sound familiar to you.

Imagine a couple where one of the two tells the other, at the end of a conversation, that they feel hurt. The other person tells him that she doesn’t remember it, that he is making it up and that they could never have said such a thing to him. Even if it can be questioned, the manipulator  ends up sowing something very important in the mind of the other: the seed of doubt.

From that moment on, a series of circumstances follow one another that reminds the victim of the moment when her spouse told her that things did not turn out as she imagined. Faced with any other situation, the manipulator will tell her that she is exaggerating, that she is lying, that her extreme sensitivity is playing tricks on her. The seed will germinate and little by little, the victim may think that it is exaggerating.

If you start to lie to avoid being changed or constantly wondering about your ideas and actions, you could be the victim of manipulation.

In extreme cases, the person who performs this type of abuse hides things and always makes the other think that they have the wrong perception and that their memories are unreliable. The reason this takes place is that she manages to subdue the other, to feel almighty, to do harm and to get her goal, like in the movie Gaslight . This is clear evidence of a toxic relationship in which one member feels very insecure, in constant doubt about what is the truth, and in absolute dependence on the opinions of others. .

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Trust your intuition

Is it difficult to get out of such a situation? Of course, just like all those where there is a person willing to handle. But it is not impossible. Hence the importance of taking into account certain keys that allow us to open our eyes and get out of a situation like the one we are describing, a Gaslighting situation.

The first of these keys is to trust your intuition. When we feel that there is something weird, that something does not correspond, we must not completely agree with the other. He’s at least as right as anyone else.

The second key is  not to seek the approval of the other. This is something we often do because of low self-esteem or because we depend on this acceptance. But, if our gut tells us that something smells bad, let’s not agree with whoever tells us that such a conversation never happened.

Let him know how we feel and how we experience it. Let us show that it is also possible that the other has forgotten what happened and that we do not want to offend him by questioning his memories, just as he does not offend us when he questions ours.

The third of these keys is to stay firm within your limits. If the other is yelling at us, using hurtful words with us, or we notice that they are trying to use us to do what they want, let’s show them and don’t let it go. We must not allow anyone to exceed our limits because otherwise we reinforce the idea that they can do so with impunity. Our limits must be impassable. Once we give in, there is no turning back and a person who is psychologically abusing will take advantage of this opportunity.

Gaslighting can destroy our self-esteem, cause us to completely lose confidence in our opinion, our opinion, and cause anxiety disorders and even depression.

You can doubt yourself, but in such a case, your best bet is to look for evidence independently. Be aware that Gaslighting is a strategy that fuels the belief that we experience very different realities that an objective narrator could recount in detail. Thus, our thoughts begin to become obsessive, which further reinforces this idea.

Getting away from the person who is hurting us is important to distance yourself and analyze the situation from another perspective, where manipulation cannot intervene. Giving reason to the other, when he makes us doubt ourselves, will give him all the power to destroy us.

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