5 Traits Of Emotionally Immature People

The questions of maturity and immaturity are very mythical. People do not admit that they are placed in a single box, nor that they are given a single label. Each of us is a mixture of different forms of consciousness. We are ignorant and wise, children and elders, childish and conscientious. All at the same time, even if, depending on the moment, some characteristics stand out more than others.

Emotional immaturity could be defined as a condition in which people have not given up on the desires and fantasies of childhood. Desires and fantasies that have a link with the fact that the world revolves around them, or that reality is duplicated according to what they want. Thus, emotional maturity could be defined as a state of strength and moderation that leads to realistic and balanced actions.

“Maturity begins to manifest when we feel that our concern for others is greater than for ourselves”

-Albert Einstein-

Far from having an abstract definition, maturity manifests itself through behavioral traits. Here we are going to give you a list of 5 characteristics that are unique to emotionally immature people.

1. They are egocentric

A good part of the process of maturing in people is understanding that the world doesn’t revolve around them. The baby doesn’t know. This is why he asks for food at 2 a.m. and ignores the fact that it affects his parents’ sleep. As he grows older he learns to recognize that he does not always get what he wants and that other people and their needs also dwell in the universe.

Maturing involves getting out of the prison of the ego. It means losing that illusion that revolves around the baby’s life where all you have to do is ask for a desire or need to be met. When we gradually let go of this fantasy, we become more and more aware of a wonderful possibility: the adventure of exploring the universe of others. If all goes well, we will learn to preserve self and reach for you.

2. Difficulties in assuming commitments

An unequivocal sign of immaturity is the difficulty in making commitments. It is difficult for the child to give up what he wants at the present moment in order to achieve a bigger gain in the long run. If we give him a candy and promise him that if he does not eat it, we will give him another, the desire to eat it will still arise.

In the process of maturation, it is understood that sacrifices and restrictions are necessary to achieve success. And that committing to a goal, or a person, is not a limitation of freedom, but a condition for better projecting and for the longer term.

3. The tendency to make others feel guilty

Children accept themselves as beings led by others, who do not act according to their own will. They are to a great extent, since they are in a process of formation and integration into the culture. While they are small, they believe that error must lead to guilt. They do not care so much about the damage they have done, it is rather the punishment or the sanction that can be imposed on them that concerns them.

Growing up is getting out of this state of gentle irresponsibility. To mature is to understand that we are solely responsible for what we do or stop doing. Learn to recognize mistakes and learn new things from them. Knowing how to repair damage. Knowing how to ask for forgiveness.

4. Establish dependency relationships

For immature people, others are means and not an end in themselves. So, as a means, they need it. They don’t need others because they love them, but they love them because they need them. Hence the fact that they tend to build links in which future dependencies are found.

In order to be able to establish links based on freedom, it requires autonomy. But immature people do not know this concept of autonomy. Sometimes they think that following their will is autonomous behavior. But when it comes to taking responsibility for the consequences of their actions, they need others to cushion the effects, hide or ease their responsibility.

5. Irresponsibility in money management

Impulsivity is one of the most visible traits of immature people. An impulsiveness that is often expressed in the way they manage their resources, such as money. So, in order to satisfy their desires, and satisfy them now, they have no problem buying what they need with the money they don’t have.

Sometimes, they embark on financial adventures and do as they see fit. They do not objectively evaluate their investments and they have great difficulty in planning for the long term. This is why it is common for them to be in debt, only to satisfy their whims.

All of these traits of immaturity do not arise or are not maintained by a conscious decision of people. Rather, they obey voids or cracks of childhood. They can also be a consequence of the unfortunate experiences that have kept them from growing. If you are like that, or you know someone like that, don’t tell them. The important thing is to become aware of it in order to stimulate one’s own development in one’s life and to build oneself better.

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Main image by Catrin Welz-Stein