To Sacrifice One’s Essence Is To Increase One’s Vulnerability
It’s when you sacrifice your essence that you start to suffer
From the moment you sacrifice your essence, suffering will become one of the main constants of your existence. Your gaze will be directed towards the people who are part of your entourage, not to look away from them, and concern will invade your life, accompanied by a very unpleasant feeling of guilt. You will always be on alert, attentive to the slightest criticism, the slightest disapproval.
This situation, instead of making you happy, will make you spend endless nights sobbing. Anxiety and stress will settle in you permanently. “ You must do this… ”, “ You must be that… ” will become your most usual thoughts. And the worst part of all of this is that it will take you some time to find the source of this state of nervousness and demand that you feel all the time.
Your innermost opinion absolutely doesn’t seem to matter anymore. Only the words of others dictate your conduct. At every moment, at every moment, you will question your way of behaving in relation to the expectations of others. You will absolutely give them everything! But, have you ever wondered if this situation makes you happy? Why do you always feel this feeling of unease, of being out of touch with reality, when you seem to give your all for others?
Pleasing others, and after?
Since we were children, society has taught us to try to please our neighbor. To lend a hand when the other needs it, to offer our unwavering support during difficult times and our full understanding of the faults of those around us.
You are certainly very flexible with others: you forgive them for their mistakes, you try to understand them. But this treatment, conversely, does not seem reserved to you. Others demand a lot from you, asking you to be perfect all the time. Then you feel like if you don’t do it right, you are not going to be accepted, or loved.
You think that if you say “no” others will reject you and hate you, even your closest friends. However, what would happen if someone around you behaved in this way with you? You would try to understand her, wouldn’t you? So why don’t you give yourself the same latitude, the same freedom to be and act in accordance with who you are?
Often, our conception of the ideal way to behave is totally out of step with reality. We leave ourselves aside, we neglect ourselves, even though we are the main protagonists of our existence. Our attention is focused on nothingness, it illuminates a place that is not the right one, and this behavior is costing us dearly.
We end up forgetting ourselves completely because we are so preoccupied with what others think, what others want: we are wrong, we lie to ourselves. All for a few smiles and pat on the back. But what are we doing with our existence?
Now is the time to boost your self-esteem
When you sacrifice yourself for others, your self-esteem is automatically damaged. This is why you gradually become dependent on others to be happy, even if you will never succeed by taking this path.
What if this friend stops talking to you? What would happen if your partner left you? What if your boss fired you from your job?
In all of these situations, you would look to yourself for a solution. You would find yourself in front of the one person you have neglected in your entire existence, for a handful of smiles from strangers. This person you have tried to deny all your life.
There are times in life that require us to pick up all the broken pieces of our soul and try to put them back together, little by little. This is the only way to boost self-esteem.
Taking care of yourself is absolutely not selfishness, especially if you are doing it during times of hopelessness and sadness. Wanting to be alone and not enduring the company of others for a while is a perfectly natural reflex. It means that you need to reconnect with yourself, to listen to yourself.
That time you wasted caring for others has not been very rewarding, or even very productive. It only made you vulnerable to the toxic people around you, who certainly didn’t fail to take advantage of it. Forget about devoting yourself completely to others and set aside some time for yourself.
Our thoughts Self-esteem is self-esteem; it’s the ability to love yourself, to respect yourself and to value yourself, which involves a whole …
