Learn To Accept Your Emotions

“Wisdom is the art of accepting what cannot be changed, of changing what cannot be changed and, above all, of knowing the difference”

“There’s no point in worrying about that”. “It is not worth the trouble”. “You have no reason to be sad”. “Come on, stop crying”. “You have to get up”.

How many times have we heard such phrases spoken with the best of intentions?

We have been given this advice and we have given it to others as well, because it sounds good and sane. However, when we try to put them into practice,   we fail to find the magic formula.

Unfortunately, our emotions are not governed by standards and do not always follow our will. It is not enough to want to change the emotions that one feels, because the feelings are there, very present, and do not disappear so easily.

In addition, it is very common that we feel frustrated. Feeling good becomes a kind of obligation, and if we fail to achieve this goal, we end up worse off than at the start, i.e. clumsy, guilty, and we believe that it does not matter. who is able to deal with his emotions, except us.

Obviously, a vicious circle is created and always plunges us a little more into negativity. The more we feel the obligation to feel good and not to give too much importance to things, the more the problem takes place in our mind and the more our morale deteriorates.

Get out of this vicious circle

There is this quote that is often attributed to Einstein, although it is not really known if he actually said it: “ If you are looking for different results, don’t always do the same thing ”. Scientific genius or not, what is certain is that this very learned sentence makes one think.

By acting differently, it is possible to break out of a vicious circle. Then you are probably wondering what would happen if we changed the phrases and tips that we saw at the beginning of this article.

This has already been put into practice through third generation therapies such as Mindfulness therapy or Acceptance and Commitment therapy.

Observe and accept

Instead of struggling with negative emotions, try to come to terms with them. This does not mean resigning yourself to the fact that they will never change, no, but rather allowing yourself to feel them.

We must observe ourselves with an open mind, without judging ourselves, for judgments always end up finding us guilty. In addition, we should not strive to have a continuous struggle, because struggling wears us out and leaves us adrift.

Your emotions are worth it

There are no good or bad emotions, they are part of us and make us humans. It is normal to have ups and downs as well as changes in emotions, as this is the flow of life, and we know well that there is no point in trying to swim against the tide.

Remember that all of your emotions are worth it, so  feel them as they come, without struggling to change them.

You will learn to identify them, understand them, and take them seriously. You will also see that they run their course and eventually disappear to make room for others, and so on.

This also applies to others …

Acceptance doesn’t just help you. Indeed, when someone feels bad, practice this same technique.

Put yourself in that person’s shoes, go with them, and join them. Understand her and accept her emotions because they are also worth it.

If she asks for your advice, advise her, but don’t judge her. Don’t make her feel awkward and don’t make her think she was wrong.

Offer your company, to speak if it needs it or to respect its silence. Live the emotional experience and relieve that person.

be strong

Remember that pain is an inevitable part of life, and that positive experiences only make sense because negative experiences exist. It’s the contrast between two things that gives them meaning.

How would we say we are happy, if we had never been sad before?

Also respect your own suffering, as you have accepted that of others, and do not punish yourself by imposing certain obligations on yourself.

You have the right to feel bad, to cry, and to care about certain situations.

Don’t give up: the pain will go away too

Of course, accepting and respecting does not mean giving up and doing nothing. It means giving ourselves the time and space we need, finding the right moment for the emotion to appear.

After knowing our feelings perfectly, we can assess whether there is anything that can be done to improve the situation.

The pain will eventually go away, the positive emotions will return and then it will be even more important to put into practice what we have seen.

It is essential to take care of our emotions, to observe them and to be aware of them, so that we know better than ever what it is to feel good.

In the end, to feel good or to feel bad  is to feel human.