Aboulomania, Or Pathological Indecision
We all had to make a difficult decision at some point in our lives. We started to doubt, to worry about not knowing what to choose… This is normal. However, when indecision affects our life, our relationships with others, and the reason it appears is related to stress, anxiety, and even depression, we may be faced with a case of ‘aboulomania.
It is necessary to stress that aboulomania is a crippling mental disorder. Not a problem of insecurity. People who suffer from it do not trust each other to make decisions. Usually, they have a lot of problems in their relationships. Whether it is a relationship of couple, friendship, family, professional, etc. Having to choose between one dessert or another can be an odyssey. Aboulomania goes that far.
What triggers aboulomania?
To determine the cause of aboulomania, a complete study of the person who suffers from it must be done because we do not yet know precisely what its possible triggers are. Several studies have nevertheless proposed different hypotheses.
A possible origin could be in the prefrontal cortex of the brain. An area related to decision making, which is why some researchers believe that the latter could be closely linked with this mental disorder. However, another cause would lie in the educational model. Although this is a hypothesis that researchers handle with great caution.
Thus, excessive protection during childhood could be the breeding ground in which aboulomania is cultivated because, as we know, overprotection causes extreme dependence on the decisions of others. Also, if humiliation or abandonment took place during childhood, this mental disorder may appear. In addition, shame, extreme insecurity and lack of self-confidence can be causes of aboulomania.
This is not clear, however, and researchers have still not been able to find a hypothesis that can be empirically supported. Therefore, although they speculate on the possible reasons for aboulomania, they do not guarantee that one of them is in itself an answer explaining this phenomenon in all cases.
The life of a person with aboulomania
We have to be very careful not to confuse aboulomania with emotional addiction. This is why it is very important to turn to a professional who can help put an accurate name on what is going on. As we will see later, some of the circumstances experienced by a person suffering from aboulomania may be mistaken for addiction or insecurity.
The usual thing is that a person suffering from aboulomania avoids being alone in any circumstance where a “dilemma” may arise. But not because she fears being left without someone who loves her, but because she needs someone to make decisions for her and take responsibility for her. This causes and feeds the fear of abandonment to the extent that she is unable to make a decision if she is alone. This is the reason why, unfortunately, sometimes one of the outcomes is suicide.
This dependent way of interacting with others means that the person with aboulomania can be manipulated. Or deceived more easily. It can be used, and even abandoned by her spouse because of her high degree of passivity. Or because she doesn’t know how to express her own disagreements. Alone, the person with aboulomania feels helpless. Lost and helpless.
Diagnosis and treatment
This mental disorder is accompanied by anxiety, depression and stress. These are the main complaints with which patients who suffer from it present to the consultation. There are three diagnostic tests: Millon Multiaxial Clinical Inventory (MCMI-II), Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory (MMPI-2), Thematic Appearance Test (TAT).
After the diagnosis, it is recommended to perform an intervention to overcome aboulomania. The process is, first, to alleviate any anxiety, stress or depression problems the patient is suffering from. And, subsequently, to treat the mental disorder itself. To do this, the professional will use tools that will help the patient to acquire greater autonomy. And to develop social skills, such as assertiveness. In addition, in many cases it will also be necessary to put in place a process of rebuilding self-esteem.
The one suffering from this type of disorder is not able to decide anything. A meal. A haircut (cut or not, change or not, dye or not). A work. Whether or not to take an umbrella with him… Her indecision gets to the point that if, in a group of friends, she had to decide on a plan for the weekend, they would end up doing nothing.
People with this disorder can be very “uncomfortable”. Indeed, the people around them have the feeling that they should always be pulled. Push them. This is true, but the fact remains that those who experience it the most badly are the people suffering from the said disorder. They are also generally delighted when someone offers them the opportunity to gain security. E improve their autonomy. Let us not forget that. And above all, let’s help them.
Our thoughts 
