Why Are We Afraid Of Silence?

You get in the car and turn on the radio. You come home and turn on the television. You put music on your phone while you shower, sing or think. We are afraid of silence and we show it in a thousand ways.

The emptiness suggested by the absence of noise torments us. And with this fear, we lose important opportunities. Maybe if we knew the value of silence, we would stop running away from it like an enemy.

When was the last time you were silent? When did you feel the total absence of external and internal stimuli? For most people, it is almost a utopia, a state impossible to achieve and maintain. It is also, in their eyes, something dangerous and disturbing. But why does this happen to us, and what can we do?

We are afraid of silence

You may or may not have noticed this general trend in our society. You may have even sensed this fear of silence within you, even if you don’t know exactly what it is. The reality is that every day we are showing signs of this phenomenon.

We surround ourselves with all kinds of technological devices that provide us with visual and auditory stimulation. And not only do we do it as a form of entertainment in our spare time, but we use it in every day to day activity. While we cook, clean or play sports, outside noises accompany us.

The same is true when we spend time with our colleagues, friends or family. Even if we pass a neighbor in the elevator, we prefer to strike up a casual conversation rather than remain silent. Often we have nothing to say, and yet we make the effort to fill these terrifying gaps with words.

But even when we are in apparent silence, with no outside noise to overwhelm our senses, we resort to our inner resources to escape. Have you noticed it?

Has it ever occurred to you that when you fall asleep, in the stillness of the night, your mind seems to speed up to take you from the past to the future in constant ruminating? These are only mechanisms to avoid the silence of the present.

Why does silence frighten us?

Because we don’t know each other

We are afraid of silence because it involves coming into contact with ourselves. We run away from it because we run away from ourselves. It is the fear of being alone with a part of ourselves that we refuse to see, with the fears and hurts that we have ignored.

We are terrified of hearing our own voice. Terrified to hear that inner cry that we have buried for years under the voices of others and the sounds of the outside world.

We don’t know each other, because we’ve never been alone. We do not know each other and we are afraid of it. When silence appears, it brings with it the sounds of our shadows, of those dark parts that we don’t recognize as our own when they are.

Where does this anxiety come from, this feeling of loneliness and emptiness, this contained anger that arises when we are silent? All of this is us, even though we have refused to see each other for decades.

Because we haven’t gotten used to it

However, it is not all our fault. We were born and live immersed in a society that does not teach us to connect or listen to each other, but constantly occupies and distracts us.

Self-knowledge, personal development, meditation… All of these practices seem to be reserved for a suffering minority who need to be repaired, when in fact we should all practice them.

Silence is stigmatized and we are taught to see it as something negative, as a sign that the silent person is angry, offended, sad or absent. Silence evokes loneliness and emptiness, shyness and negative emotions, when it shouldn’t be.

Start practicing silence

Practicing silence helps us connect with our fears, hurts, and desires. It allows us to know ourselves, to heal ourselves and to come back to ourselves.

It gives us the opportunity to discover our desires and our opinions, to regain our strength and our voice. When you know and accept yourself, when you learn to love and be with yourself, there is no other place in the world that compares to it.

Only you can fill your gaps, heal your wounds, and overcome your fears. Only you can work to achieve your dreams and goals. So why are you afraid to be with yourself? Give yourself a chance, you will find out how much you have been missing in all this time.

Our thoughts

There are a multitude of therapeutic tools in psychology. One of the most forgotten and yet one of the most useful is silence.