To Be Happy, You Have To Make Room For The Unexpected
It was Euripides who once said that what we expect does not happen because the unexpected happens, which can really change our life. However, leaving room for the unforeseen, which is beyond our control, requires above all a receptive heart and an open mind, for only in this way can we attain those wonderful opportunities with which to “move forward”.
What sociologists often tell us, as do economics researchers such as the famous essayist Nassim Nicholas Taleb, is that we act as if we can predict what will happen tomorrow, the day after tomorrow or even next week. Our placid ignorance, or so to speak, our exaggerated urge to believe that we are in control of everything, often means that we do not know how to react when suddenly something unexpected happens.
This behavior or this so basic necessity can be explained by a very simple principle: our brain needs to feel that it has control over everything. It doesn’t matter to him that we are happy, the only thing he wants is that we “survive”. Thus, everything that enters the border of the unforeseen or the region of the unexpected will be interpreted as a threat or the echo of a battalion displaying a very concrete banner: that of danger.
In fact, it is worth highlighting the very concrete reality that the people most prone to fear, who hide their insecurity and emptiness the most, in turn develop a greater need for control over themselves and others.. Any dominant person, who claims to dominate the uncontrollable without leaving a single place or a crumb to the unexpected or to improvisation, is irreparably condemned to the abyss of dissatisfaction and unhappiness.
Learning from children: great lovers of the unexpected
You just need to show a baby something unexpected to grab their attention right away. His gaze is instantly fascinated by anything out of the ordinary, something brightly colored and defying logic or gravity. They have a natural and instinctive ability to embrace anything in their environment that is amazing and unpredictable. We, on the other hand, with our adult glasses and our rational filters, have lost this faculty which stimulates so much learning.
In fact, as a study conducted at Johns Hopkins University by psychologist Aimée Stahl explains, babies aged 9 to 11 months have a predilection for all these stimuli which seemingly escape logic. To demonstrate this, we carried out a curious experiment with a group of babies who were presented with two kinds of toys: one that seemed to go through walls (by an optical effect) and another that simply bounced against them before falling to the ground.
Strange as it might sound, the babies were more interested in one who seemed to be doing something impossible: breaking through walls. Experts have concluded from these tests that the smallest children are programmed to notice what is unexpected. However, as we grow older, any unexpected fact is often interpreted as something beyond our control and, therefore, can be dangerous …
Leave a little room in your life for the unexpected
Do it, leave the door of your heart ajar so that new, joyful and rebellious breezes may enter from time to time: for they will certainly not hurt you. Allow yourself a small place in your life for the unpredictable, what you don’t expect, which is off the agenda, far away, far removed from even your own goals. Because the reign of the unexpected can be more profitable than we think. Thus, great explorers have discovered entire continents under the hospices of chance, and many famous figures have bequeathed us their best contributions under the influence of serendipity.
For example, the job we have now may be unsatisfactory. But we bonded a friendship which, in turn, introduced us to a hobby we love, which enriches us emotionally and intellectually to the point of wanting to dedicate ourselves professionally to it. We do, and by setting up our own business, we meet the love of our life.
As we see, one thing can lead us to another, we jump from stone to stone on this unstoppable river of our existence almost without realizing it. However, to appreciate the beauty and timeliness of each of these points, we must be receptive to this magical setting that fate unfolds before us every day. And we have to do it with an open and positive attitude, because anyone who expects the unexpected with a willing mind opens up to more opportunities for happiness.
