Tell Me I’m Crazy, Cause I Like It

I am tired of hearing the word “mad”, which is moreover so badly used, like a decontextualized refrain, which is pleasant to the ears of the ignorant but which annoys those who know reality.

Crazy, demented, weird, different, weird, crazy, disturbed, dangerous, unbalanced, manic, crazy, schizophrenic, bipolar, paranoid, distracted, sick, crazy, psychopath, lunatic, barjo.

“I am told that I am crazy because I live in a disorderly and impulsive way, out of time and in my own way.”

-Juan Ramón Marcos Sánchez – Dialogues with my conscience-

Fill the void of ignorance with meaning

Ignorance can be remedied through words. Forget the false beliefs and realize your own reality.

I only ask you one thing: chase away old concepts to make room for another concept, new to you certainly, but which already exists for others.

I do not know that your confusion is not intentionally mean on your part, even if sometimes, one might think the opposite. Obviously, the word “crazy” hurt me more than once ; I then felt weird, different and unworthy. It’s an unpleasant feeling that is hard to get used to.

I learned that a single word can have multiple meanings. From a distance it looks confusing and strange, but the closer you get, what was out of focus becomes clear and precise.

Strength in madness

A single word cannot express all the meaning it can contain. I suffered, I cried, I was stuck in a dead end maze.

I have known days when I wanted to throw in the towel and drop everything, days when in my eyes nothing made sense. As if nothing ever really made sense.

But in those moments, the people around me were there to remind me not to do it, that it wasn’t worth it.

To all those who have reached out to me rather than putting a spade in my wheels, I can only thank you wholeheartedly.

Few are those who fight against others. I came out of the battle stronger, with wounds and scars that show I struggled to the end; nevertheless, the efforts made have not been in vain. Today I am strong, and what frightened me yesterday is part of my daily life today.

I won’t stop being who I am

It was difficult for me to accept myself as I am. The comments of those around me have led me to doubt, to suffer, and to wonder about every tiny part of my being.

My path was strewn with various obstacles, such as hard times, falls and injuries, but eventually I managed to reach my goal.

Surely I am not a perfect person, but to this day I have yet to meet anyone who is. I failed, and like any other human being, I was wrong.

I correct my mistakes, even if sometimes it is too late. I hope you will understand this, that you will stay by my side and that you will not turn your back on me.

I will not cease to be who I am for the sole purpose of pleasing you. For me, it’s lucky that I discovered myself and that my self-esteem is unconditional.

I didn’t come into the world to please you and be the way you want me to be. I am myself.

I would like to please you, but just as I accept myself, I also accept that it is not possible to please everyone.

“Sometimes I hug you so sincerely and so hard that I tattoo your skin. Other times, however, I need to hide and have things decide on their own, so that if it fails, it’s not my fault. Then I fight against myself, curse my cowardice and promise to change. But I don’t change, without knowing if it’s because I don’t want it, or because I can’t. ”

-Juan Ramón Marcos Sánchez – Dialogues with my conscience-

Tell me i’m crazy cause i like it

If you want to attribute an adjective to me, you will do it yourself; this is your sole responsibility, because I am not imposing anything on you.

Qualify me one way or another if that makes you feel more confident in yourself.

Reduce my world to a single word behind which you can take refuge. Tell me I’m crazy if you want, but if you do, be aware of what that word really means.

Crazy, strong, courageous, lovable, peaceful, affectionate, unique, fighting, capable, educated, caring, responsible, diligent, calm, astonishing, intelligent, attentive, wonderful, warrior, tenacious, original, resistant, thorough, gentle, fun, human, sensitive, interesting, exceptional.

“While moving away from voluntary autism, you smile, because you know that only the madman is lucid. They tell me I’m crazy, and I like that. ”

-Juan Ramón Marcos Sánchez – Dialogues with my conscience-