What Are Real Friends Doing?
“Don’t walk in front of me, maybe I won’t be able to follow you.
Don’t walk behind me, maybe I’m not a guide.
Just walk by my side, and be my friend. ”
-Albert Camus-
Friendship is probably the most perfect form of love there is. Unlike family relationships, friendship is a bond that we do not inherit, but that we choose.
Unlike romantic relationships, in friendship, there are no commitments or exclusivity pacts.
On the other hand, any form of love requires that there be friendship, but friendship does not require that other forms of love be involved.
It is often said that when you have a friend, you have a treasure. Good friends are a balm for life and a cure for physical and emotional illnesses.
However, not all the people we have an ongoing relationship with are our friends, just as those who say they are are not necessarily. Deep and genuine friendships are rare, and for this reason, we must learn to appreciate them.
What does a real friend do?
He sincerely cares for me
He doesn’t just show up when he needs you, or when he has nothing better to do. Therefore, he is aware of everything that happens to you, and he does not wait for you to go and get him to come to you.
Everything about you interests him, and he’ll be the first to come running if something bad happens to you. He selflessly worries about you. He just loves you, and he wants you to be okay.
Between you, there is no emotional intensity like in other types of relationship, but still it will always be there.
He wants to understand you, not judge you
“A friend is someone you can think of out loud”
-Emerson-
Friendship presupposes mutual acceptance. A true friend doesn’t want to change you, and isn’t there to criticize you or question your life.
He knows you have flaws, but he’s not interested in pointing them out to you. If he does, it is to allow you to suffer less, and not to change yourself.
A true friend is willing to understand you. If you talk to him about your problems, he will try to understand your position, without pointing out your mistakes to you.
This is why, with this person, you feel comfortable being yourself and showing yourself as you are.
It alleviates difficult situations
A true friend knows that he is not your mother, nor your confessor or your psychologist. Instead of lecturing you or giving you a good manners manual, he shares difficult times with you in a spontaneous and easy way.
If he knows you’re at your wit’s end, he’ll invite you for ice cream, or for a walk in the park. If he knows you are going through an unpleasant situation, he will let you down and he will joke with you. If he knows you are in pain, he will be by your side in a peaceful and non-invasive way.
He knows how to listen to you
If anything distinguishes true friendship, it’s this ability to listen, which goes far beyond just being silent while the other is talking. Real listening is respectful and warm.
Knowing how to listen does not mean interfering with what the other is saying, if it is not necessary. It is accepting what the other expresses, without gestures or attitudes of disapproval. Listening is accompanying someone in silence, giving shape to their ideas and feelings through words.
He is sincere and has a bad memory
Great friends don’t pretend about how they think about you and how they feel about you. The enchantment of friendship lies precisely in the fact that each one trusts and knows what to expect with the other. Among true friends, there is no room for false courtesy or for hypocrisy.
In other types of relationships, an upset or an argument can take on big proportions, but in friendship it doesn’t.
A true friend easily forgets conflicts, and turns the page without problems. Of course, there are limits, but in friendship, daily disagreements do little damage.
True friendship is built between two people. Instead of asking if your friends meet all of these criteria, instead, we invite you to find out if you are a good friend to others. Anyone who knows how to be a good friend is bound to find good friends.
