Acceptance And Renunciation Are Two Very Different Concepts

Some concepts are so close that they are often confused. This is the case with acceptance and renunciation. However, a number of points distinguish these two concepts. Let us now see why we tend to confuse acceptance and renunciation.

Both indeed imply a change of perspective in relation to a more or less concrete situation. Acceptance and renunciation are essential processes that first and foremost influence how we control our surroundings. Not just the physical world, but also our ideas, expectations, mental patterns, etc.

We usually decide what is in our control and what is not. Both acceptance and renunciation change this way of deciding. It is precisely how we effect this change in the elements under our control that differentiates acceptance from renunciation.

Why is it important to know the difference between acceptance and renunciation?

Differentiating between acceptance and renunciation is not only a problem of didactics or semantics. Indeed, if we differentiate these two concepts correctly, it will be easier for us to recognize our attitude or our behavior in a given situation which invites us to change our perception of control.

In psychology, the difference between acceptance and renunciation is essential. Often part of the therapeutic process during therapy is doing acceptance work. In this context, it is often observed that the patients themselves confuse the concepts of acceptance and renunciation. Thus, the psychologist is therefore obliged to be an expert in the matter. In fact, explaining the differences between these two concepts is often necessary. This is part of what we call “psychoeducation”.

The differences between acceptance and renunciation

Words matter. Let’s go to sleep and already agree on the meaning to be given to these two concepts.

Willingness

Acceptance and renunciation are not similar processes as far as the will is concerned. First of all, acceptance is a process that takes place, to a large extent, in a conscious manner. In addition, therapies make it possible to become aware of the problem even before working on acceptance.

In contrast, quitting is not a desired goal in therapy. Giving up occurs on a much more unconscious level and it usually generates discomfort. The circumstances of life sometimes make us give up without even realizing it.

The role

The role of the person is different whether it is a process of acceptance or a process of renunciation. While in the first case, the person takes an active role, in the second, they tend to be passive. That is, in the case of acceptance, there is a decision-making process aimed at making a change that normally affects our emotional state.

On the other hand, in the event of giving up, we generally place the responsibility for our change of perspective on external and cyclical factors. Therefore, the person who gives up usually has a passive role in the process of change.

The intention

Although it may have its own evolutionary logic, the intention of renouncing is not to reduce the suffering we experience in a given situation. However, when we accept, we do so in order to lessen our suffering.

Judgments

Accepting our reality is an accomplishment that sometimes requires giving up its role. That is to say, to accept that one is not required to assume a certain role. That of victim, for example. Additionally, not being judgmental about our situation is also a factor that makes this exercise so difficult in many cases.

Usually, when you give up, you also become a tougher judge. It is then easier to question the correctness of things or the relevance of the changes.

Acceptance and renunciation in our life

Sport is an integral part of life and it is often a good illustration of it. Through sport, we live life experiences such as defeat, success, frustration or even euphoria. Let us take the example of sport to try to see it more clearly and to differentiate between acceptance and renunciation.

Imagine that you are playing a team sport like soccer or basketball. Now imagine that you are in the middle of a game. Due to the end of the time limit or the difference in score, it is going to be impossible for you to win this game. Also imagine that it is an important game. It may be the final of a tournament or even a qualifying match for a national championship …

At this point, an exercise in accepting the situation would involve continuing to play with the same intensity and desire to score points. And this, out of dignity, out of sportsmanship or even out of respect for the team and oneself.

However, giving up involves a very different attitude. It would be for example to continue playing but without the same intensity or to adopt an attitude of indifference or casualness.

Acceptance is obviously not an easy exercise, but life brings us to practice it. So a person with a chronic illness has to face this essential acceptance process. Of course, this process is not always constant or stable. Acceptance, as a process, has its ups and downs.

To conclude

Knowing how to differentiate between acceptance and renunciation is a very interesting exercise. In addition, as with any other exercise, we improve with practice. Finally, keep in mind that this teaching is closely linked to our perception of happiness.

Our thoughts

It may sound counterintuitive, but there is no such thing as grief that can be painlessly healed. We must sink into the well of our feelings …