Beware Of Sadness, Which Can Become A Bad Habit

Sadness is as necessary as joy. But for several decades in Western society, we have been demanded of a false “happiness” that takes us away from the experience of healthy emotions necessary for our development. Seems like showing the pretty face in our life is the only valid thing, as if it is forbidden to feel and show emotions unrelated to this obsession with permanent happiness.

Sadness is a necessary emotion, but the fact that it turns into a bad habit or permanent state indicates that we need to pay more attention to it to improve our emotional management. Even though being sad is natural, when faced with the loss of a loved one, illness or the loss of a job, it can turn into an unhealthy emotion when it reaches very high levels of intensity or is perpetuated in the heart. time.

Another, more difficult type of sadness is that which arises from not loving yourself. It is the result of unknowingly disregarding oneself, and not a lack of tenderness on the part of others. We are sad and we don’t want anything because we imagine that others do not understand what is going on inside us.

Life doesn’t care what you love. Its function is to give you what you need at all times.

When does sadness cease to be appropriate?

Sadness is considered one of the most basic emotions, which correspond to emotional, innate reactions, present in all human beings and necessary for good emotional regulation in the face of negative situations.

The presence in our life of emotions such as sadness is normal and appropriate, as it helps us to adapt to reality when we experience situations of physical or psychological separations, loss or failure, disappointment, l lack of fulfilling activities and the experience of chronic pain, among others.

When this emotion ceases to be adapted and is accompanied by other symptoms, such as difficulty falling or over-sleeping, listlessness, loss of dreams, negative thoughts about yourself and your life. life, the person’s life suffers from interference. This is when we are faced with a problem.

The presence of negative and distorted thoughts and feelings about reality generates sadness and despair. Sad people perceive themselves as uninteresting, allow themselves to be carried away by these emotions in such a way that they completely abandon their activities. Thus, not only, they perceive themselves as less interesting than the others but they stop the activities in which they could justly prove wrong in this value judgment that they carry. And the belief is therefore reinforced.

This is only the beginning of a vicious circle because they put aside their routine and their activities that they like because of their negative morale, not knowing that it is precisely these activities that can help them improve the situation and to prevent their morale from plummeting. A dynamic is therefore set in motion, in which inactivity “calls” for inactivity.

“Avoid the pleasure that causes a certain sadness.”

-Solon-

Cure for sadness: self-esteem

Inappropriate sadness is not an expression of the fact that no one loves us, but the negative impact of a lack of self-esteem. The origin of this sadness is not the hatred of others, but the contempt for oneself which manifests itself in the thoughts that one tends to ruminate under these circumstances.

In some cases, the origin of this tormented world must be found in the absence of care, affection and love during the first years of our life. The mismanagement of emotions in childhood is the seed planted and today that seed is harvesting for fruit this way of dealing with sadness that we have described.

Self-esteem, so important, is found in what concerns us, in our way of being and in our personal worth. Thus, it can affect our way of being, of acting and our relations with others. Nothing in the way we think, feel, decide and act escapes the influence of self-esteem.

Having good self-esteem helps control the negative thoughts and emotions you have about yourself and others that fuel that sadness. Good self-esteem wards off feelings of hopelessness, melancholy and sadness that lead to slacking off and giving up on the activities you love.

True security is not tied to external circumstances, which are governed by universal laws that cannot be controlled. Rather, it is an inner emotional state that allows one to live with confidence and courage.