Do You Know How To Present A Problem To Your Partner In A Positive Way?

Very often when we send a message, its form (how we say it) is more important than its content (what we say). Knowing how to communicate correctly is far from an easy task. We have to adjust our voice, gestures, emotions, our attitude, etc. In fact, when we talk to our partners, it all turns out to be even more complicated. Do you know how to present a problem to your partner in a positive way?

“Communication” is a psychological specialty in itself. There are psychologists who seek to improve the communication skills of other people, and to understand how the communication media affect us on a daily basis.

So much has been studied in communication that today we are very much aware that good communication skills are very important in all aspects of our life. However, if there is one of particular interest, it is that of the couple.

Knowing how to present a problem to your partner in a positive way can help you overcome conflicts and learn from them. Therefore, in this article we explain the 8 most important strategies for successful positive communication with your partner.

8 most effective communication strategies to pose a problem to your partner

1. Find the right time: it takes privacy, peace and attention from your partner

In order to present a problem to your partner in a positive way, you need to find the right time. It means that you need privacy, peace of mind, and attention. Very often in the couple, we only share a brief part of the day, the evening / night, when there are thousands of things to do but with a level of fatigue at the highest. Remember: times like this are not the best times to expose a problem.

You need to assess how urgent your problem is so that you know whether or not you can wait. The best thing is always to find some quiet time where your partner is available. Both will be calm and free from distractions. There is nothing more painful than trying to explain or understand something while being interrupted. So therefore: no telephone, children, television or music. You need to capture your partner’s attention 200%. Of course, yours doesn’t have to be on a lower level either.

2. Pay attention to body language

It is very important that your body transmits physical serenity and not a state of worry or defense when you are going to present a problem to your partner. It is normal at these times to be nervous or uncomfortable. In this sense, try to stay in control and watch out for details such as: having an open body attitude, avoiding crossed arms, looking into the eyes without intimidating and trying not to be too fidgety.

Standing face to face and being close to each other, with nothing in between, will help create a positive atmosphere. For example, sitting on the couch and maintaining eye contact, using a calm tone of voice can be much better than sitting face to face at the table. These little details help to make the issue of the problem more positive and closer.

3. Be specific and focus on the present.

Not beating around the bush is essential when presenting a problem to your partner. The first thing to stay on track is to be clear with yourself, to know what you want to say and what you expect from the presentation of the problem. It is very important before you start talking that you know how you are feeling, what you want and what changes you are looking for in order to end the problem.

In this sense, it is best to say how you feel and think clearly and briefly. You don’t have to repeat the same thing over and over again. Choose words that are easy to understand. Explain yourself using recent examples as close as possible to the present. The past is important in understanding where we are and why we are like this, but when it comes to posing a problem you need to focus on what’s going on and how you want the situation to change.

4. Use the sandwich technique: something positive + the problem + something positive

The sandwich technique makes sense when we want to correct the other, but we want to reduce the emotional impact of this criticism. That’s why it’s good to learn it if you want to expose a problem to your partner. It comes down to surrounding the central message with positive elements, placing them before and after in the discussion. For example: “I know you work long hours and I appreciate it very much because it is a testament to the effort you put in for our family. But I think you can be more present in the household, and I’m sure we can find a way to make it happen ”.

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