How To Overcome The Resistance That Prevents You From Moving Forward?
“The more we do, the more we can do”
-William Hazlitt-
Resistance is a type of conscious or unconscious barrier or obstacle that prevents us from moving forward.
These resistances translate into beliefs, emotions and feelings. Many people resist change because of the fear, anxiety or pain that change may bring.
What are the factors that create resistance in us?
The fear of the Unknown
Stepping out of our “comfort zone” for a huge desert where we have never set foot, can cause us terror and panic.
Lack of information
One of the greatest fears of human beings is not knowing what to come across, in other words uncertainty.
When you are in uncertainty, you don’t feel safe, you can’t hold on to anything, and you have to move forward almost blindly. However, we must continue at all costs and overcome uncertainty.
Fear of failure
What if things go wrong? What if I fail? And what would others say if I failed? What if they laughed at me? This is one of the most crippling fears that exist. However, it is only the fruit of our imagination.
The fear of disappointing others
People who tend to want to please and give importance to others are very afraid of disappointing them.
They fear that they will no longer be loved if something goes wrong, that they will be rejected if they say what they think or if they are themselves, and that they might disappoint someone. You have to be aware of this fear if you want to overcome it.
The fear of what will we say
In our culture, the “what will we say” is something very decisive. Usually, we are pointed out and accused if we do something differently from others.
But at the same time, the society we live in is hypocritical, because it encourages us to be different and to speak our mind. This contradiction causes confusion, fear and uncertainty in us.
Fear of being unable to learn or do something
This fear results in negative thoughts that we impose on ourselves like “I am not able”, “I am stupid”, etc.
The laziness
The human being exceeds the law of minimum effort. Therefore, anything that generates effort is already exhausting us.
In order not to change, we leave things as they are, because changing requires effort, and just thinking about it tires us out. Besides, why should I change if I’m not that bad?
The comfort zone
Why leave our “comfort zone” if we feel good there? Even if the change is positive and improves our life, we don’t want to take risks.
It is clear that fear is the main factor that activates our resistance. Many of these are mental barriers that we impose on ourselves. In some cases, the unknown and “laziness” prevent us from taking the step towards change.
Structural resistance
They are those that refer to external changes, to changes in the environment.
For example, we are faced with structural resistance when we change subject or orientation at university, when we change partners, housing, etc.
Another example of external and structural resistance: the subtle abuse that women endure.
Indeed, the environment, culture and society require women to always be beautiful and perfect, to wear heels, to wear makeup, etc.
Obviously, women have the right to make themselves beautiful, if that is their choice. On the other hand, society does not have the right to continually bombard women and subtly mistreat them so that they feel they have no place in society if they do not correspond to the image that the latter woman’s forge.
These resistances cause us fears, insecurity, setbacks, and negative feelings imposed by society.
Personal resistance
Personal resistance refers to the three basic pillars of change: love, power and knowledge.
We can say “no” to change, because it is our right. On the other hand, we must be aware of what this implies.
You can want something, be able to get it, know what will happen and not be able to get it. There is an obstacle here that we must fight.
Usually, human beings put mental barriers on themselves, which often prevent them from getting something they want and which might make them happy. These barriers have an easy solution.
In addition to using all our strength of will to successfully overcome these barriers, we must take into account the following steps:
- Define the objective and the result that you hope to achieve.
- List all the possible choices to finally retain only one.
- Make a list of things that remain to be done.
- Determine the steps that will need to be taken.
- Know precisely how we will evaluate our progress.
- To persevere, because it is something very important. If you want something, you don’t have to declare yourself defeated at the first obstacle you encounter.
- Anticipate what can happen, and know what to do if things go wrong.
And now… Are you ready for the change?
Take into account that if there is no discomfort, there is no problem, and where there is no problem, nothing is done to initiate change.
Also remember that you are not alone because you have people around you who are willing to help and support you.
If you don’t know something, educate yourself, learn, read, and educate yourself before you leap into the unknown.
Finally, if you love yourself, believe in your successes and encourage yourself. Thus, you will have no trouble overcoming your resistance!
