I Will Be The Hero / Heroine Of My Own Story, Not The Victim

There is always a point where we end up moving forward. Where we decide to be the protagonist and not the victim, where we shake up our life to courageously and bravely create our own reality: where humiliations, blackmail and insults are excluded.

Very often,  the word “victim” contains a connotation that is not very respectful. Some define this profile as this person characterized by a passive attitude, which is limited to blaming what happens to him or what he has provoked on others. However,  “victimhood” has nothing to do with “actual victims”. These are two completely opposite aspects that must be differentiated with respect and with an adequate sensitivity.

“Inner peace begins when you choose to refuse to let another person or event control your emotions”

-Oriental proverb-

Most of us have fallen victim to a person or circumstance at some point in our lives. Injustices exist in public spheres but especially in private spaces. It doesn’t matter that we’re very respectful, that we’re just kids, that we have high status, or that we already have a backpack full of experiences.

Life hits when it wants. And for a while, we will be the victims of deception, accident, hypocrisy, bad relationship, our own decisions, or some dark cloud that likes to stay above us. hearts.

We cannot always control these threads that fate has in hand. However, we may well choose the best response to leave the victim behind and transform ourselves into the hero or heroine of our own story.

The separate “me” that the victim builds

A victim does not always choose his position nor can he get out of this personal and psychological prison by the sheer force of his will. To better understand this, we give you an example. Elena – it’s a fictitious name – is 18 years old and dreams of starting her law studies in Budapest, Romania. However, due to economic and especially family problems, she knows it will be very difficult. This so complex situation motivates her one day to accept a job offer.

She sees an ad where it says that we need domestic workers in Spain. The salary is good and, if she saves enough, she will be able to start her studies a little later. She does not hesitate and takes this step. Despite everything, this decision which at the beginning is a huge act of bravery turns a few days later into the worst decision of his life.

She becomes one of the many victims of exploitation. When she arrives in Spain, she realizes that she has no other choice but to prostitute herself to finish paying for the trip. Thus, she will end up regretting her land of modest dreams and realities just as unjust as those that exist in the country of arrival.

When she is finally pushed out of this world by a social organization,  Elena continues to be a victim. She is for a very simple reason: she has built a separate “me” with whom she now identifies. This entity has ceased to trust, it feels guilty for everything that has happened and feels that it has no control over anything, absolutely nothing that surrounds it.

Her conditioning is such that she no longer has a present and no longer even conceives of a future. The identity of victim invaded his whole being. Despite this,  Elena can “rebuild” herself to be herself again. To be what she wants to be.

Repair identities, heal wounds and become heroes / heroines

The story cited here is just one example of the many realities that many men and women experience every day. Mediators and experts in this type of personal rebuilding process tell us that we are faced with a type of wound that does not always close. However,  victims can manage to reintegrate this “separate self” into their identity as they find purpose in their lives. An alternative, a meaning.

“You can be whatever you want. You can be whoever you set out to be, ”  they are told. Even if, of course, to become a hero or a heroine, you must first put aside your identity as a victim. Break the conditioning and emerge with a firm goal: to be happy again.

Strategies for moving forward by putting aside our identity as victims

Each person goes through or has gone through specific circumstances which have placed them in this vulnerable situation. The last thing we have to do is make her feel guilty or drift on phrases like “she looked for it when starting this relationship” or “things like that always happen to you because you have no character. ”.

• A victim does not choose to be : a victim not only struggles to flee from an external source that causes pain, she also struggles within herself, where her self-esteem is totally shattered.
• People who have been injured cannot escape their personal abysses overnight. It is a long, heart-wrenching and delicate process of rebuilding identity, one where one needs to regain confidence. Confidence in oneself and confidence in those around him.
• Anyone who is a victim of any given circumstance, accepts the idea that there is no escape. The moment this person puts this attitude aside and lets himself be guided by a process of genuine and close accompaniment and support, he will discover that there are other paths. Other options that can change its reality.

To conclude, life can hurt us when it wants to and we will be victims for a while. Only until our inner strength tells us enough is enough. Only until we take charge and transform ourselves into authors of our own reality, to create new horizons like real heroes / heroines would.