The Rush, The Mistake Of Many Couples
We know these loves that appear suddenly and evolve quickly, without the slightest control: we have seen them, and maybe even experienced them. But there is no problem with that. It is possible that Cupid has done his job very well and you are facing a great love that is manifested from the start. However, another option is to be considered: the one that this great love runs into disaster because of the passion and the haste that make you skip steps.
This happens especially in young and older couples, for whom the passage of time becomes like a guillotine sharp above their heads. These couples are burning through stages at an incredible rate and, when they least expect it, their relationship seems to explode. The haste pushes them to want to experience everything in a single moment and, after this very intense experience, all that remains is ashes of disinterest and weariness.
Falling in love disrupts hormones and neurons. It is a delicious state that anyone would like to extend to infinity. In fact, it is possible to make it last but, instead of rushing into it, we have to set some restrictions. Because when you drink everything all at once, it usually means your days are numbered.
Hormones and precipitation
During the first stage of a relationship, hormones do what they want. The excitement is so great that many people literally feel drunk with love. This is the stage where the other occupies all of our thoughts. When it appears, our hearts stir, our eyes sparkle, and butterflies flutter in our stomachs, as if someone has just disturbed their peace.
The two people involved believe they have found the love of their lives. This cocktail of hormones, which conditions a good part of brain chemistry, is capable of significantly altering our judgment and our critical capacity. Because yes, love is blind or, at least, myopic, when it comes to facing logic.
Some couples make a big mistake during this step. They want to get involved prematurely. This haste, which pushes them to live everything in an instant, seizes their reason, and the two people advance towards fields which will have repercussions on their future. Now, that they do not see. The promises follow one another, then the pacts, then the unlimited access to the life of the other. No one takes a step back, for fear that the other might also step back.
Decisions lightly
When it comes to making important decisions, haste is not a good advisor. Some couples are already considering the idea of having a child when their relationship is extremely recent. Or decide to get involved a little more without knowing the other, without having a stable bond, without even having quarreled at least once.
For a couple to move towards consolidation, it takes much more than a hormonal revolution. We need to talk. A lot. And we must leave a place for time to allow this process of mutual adaptation to be configured. Even if everyone thinks they have found their soul mate, it is necessary to reveal the differences of each and to build peaceful mechanisms to be able to manage them.
The haste does not show these differences. And, if we see them, we don’t give them more importance than that. During this first step, everyone is willing to accept anything from the other, without being critical. And this is quite normal; During this first phase, the implicit objective is to achieve the highest possible level of identification with the generated link.
The charm of the break
Many people crave intensity. They don’t really feel alive until they lose their mind momentarily and rely on experiences that camouflage their day-to-day problems. Experiences like seeing their favorite football team win, having a blast at a concert or enjoying a free fall jump, for example.
The first stage of love fits this group of experiences perfectly. To feel it and to live it fully is a wonderful thing, but it has to be seen for what it is: a moment of the relationship, not the relationship as such. Then you will see the urge to create plans for the future. Then maybe to live together and create a home. However, you have to keep in mind that what gets us excited so quickly can usually knock us out of our cloud at the same speed.
Many couples get carried away by haste and do not let their relationship mature quietly. The first setback will therefore break this link even before it has had time to bloom. We must tell ourselves that measuring things and moving slowly allows the bond to take root deep underground and to lay the foundations of hope and support for the relationship.
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